Under Pressure part 2

Paris parkrun 2018 vs Paris marathon 2022

The above image is very poignant to me and one that I did stage on my return to Paris earlier this month. In 2018 I had a place to run Paris marathon, we had 4 RunVerity members who had also got caught up in my excitement of running in this wonderful city. However, speed was my objective for this marathon, for three RunVerity members this would be their first marathon so unchartered territory, for me a chance to return and get my sub 4 hour. In 2014, whilst I ran a great time of 4:01, I missed out on that elusive, coveted sub-4-hour target that I so wanted to break.

Bearing in mind I had spent the last 4 years building up RunVerity, my training prior to Paris 2018 was not as it should be, yes, I was running lots of miles, but I had lost my quality speed sessions due to being exhausted setting up my own business plus teaching part time.

I lost sight of the bigger picture, as I look back over my 16-week training diary I can clearly see that I literally “crammed” as many speed sessions into my week as humanly possible. I was running all my training runs “fast”, I didn’t slow down on my long weekend runs, I ran tough speed sessions early in the mornings and 2 RV groups in the evenings. On the days when I didn’t have 2 RV sessions I ran before group with a friend who pushed my “normal” pace. I had a lot going on at home as well, our youngest daughter moved back in with us, and she needed our support. The stress was coming from all angles, physically and psychologically. And I’m sure you can guess what happened. The wheels fell off.

As I reflect it was a perfect storm, in February 2018 I ran Portsmouth half marathon in new shoes and I remember being in excruciating pain for the second half of the run, the shoes were a different brand and didn’t have the usual support that I needed. But I soldiered on as most runners do amd I ignored the pain. As I overloaded the training onto my body it didn’t adapt and recovery, it found the weakness in my foot and made it worse.

Finish of Portsmouth Half February 2018; I remember being in such pain.

I sought advice and was told that I probably would be able to hobble around Paris but reaching for the sub 4 hours would more likely break me. I had to decide, it was hard, but I pulled out of the Paris marathon. Of course, I still had to go, I had to support the other RV runners, I had to remain professional and positive and said “it’s ok, I’ll run Paris parkrun the day before the marathon, I’ll get a t-shirt as well, it will be fine”. And it did feel ok at the time until I returned this year; I hadn’t realised the full impact of not being able to run 4 years ago. It was extremely hard not being part of the marathon team, not being in the finishers photo will the celebratory medal. I experienced real gut retching race envy, but what have I learnt?

Running is my best friend

I have learnt that running is my best friend, my anchor, my rock; it become my friend and a constant when other things were out of my control. And whilst there have been times when running felt like my worst enemy, I know that it has been there by my side teaching me things that I’m not sure I would have learnt without it.

Running has welcomed me into its social circle, it’s community of like-minded people, and has introduced me to all walks of life, people who I would never have met in my normal social circle of friends.

Running has been there when times have been tough, it has literally rubbed my back as I’ve cried over loss, grief and frustration. Running has been there when I thought I’d failed but on reflection it was carrying me through a race that I really shouldn’t have been able to run; thinking I had failed because I set out too fast or didn’t achieve a pb when just getting to the start line was a victory. Running has taught me many valuable lessons and without this friend in my life I don’t know where I would be.

For me I have learnt that this time next year, I will be a different runner, just like I am a different runner from where I was 4 years ago, I know I will learn even more in the next 12 months, some ugly stuff no doubt but also some good, joyous stuff as well. Maybe running isn’t a friend, maybe it’s more like an older wiser mentor who is showing me literally which path to take, how to challenge myself to grow. I know that runners always want to know how many miles they should do and for how long and at what pace and that is so important as well, learning these things takes time though, learning what works and what doesn’t and how to listen to your body is all part of the process; sometimes we must go backwards to move forwards.

Try and look at the big picture and see what you can learn from your running friend

Patience - making progress takes time, there will be setbacks but the relationship with running is a long one and chronological age doesn’t mean the journey has to end.

Resilience - when things get tough, no matter how bad a run is, it will make you feel better, and you will get stronger.

Commitment - following any kind of plan takes commitment and dedication, such transferable skills in life.

Strength - you don’t know how strong you are until you put on your running shoes and step out into the world for all to see, this takes guts and shows vulnerability. Being vulnerable is part of being human.

Humility - there is nothing like a fellow runner showing you kindness and compassion when things get tough. It might be a touch on the shoulder to say “you’ve got this” or it could be sharing a jelly baby with you. And when you pass that kindness on you learn what is important.

Nothing lasts forever - things will change, whether a race or life is hard, it will pass, and good times will come again.

Try not to take it too seriously - I have laughed so much whilst running, proper belly aching laughter; too many wonderful stories to mention.