HOW TO RUN LONDON MARATHON
With the early morning air still heavy with dew and the media helicopters circling high above, further whipping up the infectious, hyperactive hordes of runners, like 50,000 penned in children all high on blue Smarties, the atmosphere tomorrow will be a frenzied mixture of fear, enthusiasm and anticipation.
When you’re finally there, this place you’ve been picturing in your dreams (and your nightmares) you can’t quite believe that it’s all real. That you are part of this collective community of runners who have amalgamated into this one moment in time, all having imperfectly perfected the mental and physical jigsaw of months of solid, (sometimes unstable), consistent, (often inconsistent) training.
Taking part in an iconic event like London Marathon is magical and almost unworldly. Sometimes it feels like there is only one marathon, The London, so legendary you don’t even have to either finish the sentence or give the exact distance, everybody knows The London Marathon.
Remember to give yourself a moment to truly take in your surroundings, to feel the exceptionality of the situation you’re in and, crucially, realise before it’s too late that you’re probably not breathing.
If you’re anything like I was when I ran London Marathon, at the same time you’re trying to re-teach your lungs how to inflate and deflate, your brain is beginning to spiral with all the intrusive thoughts you’ve been burying throughout your months of training. Here’s a little peek into mine at that start line:
“Ok breathe. Just breathe. No I said breathe. Ok but are you kidding me? Your advice is breathe? I can’t breathe, I’m having a heart attack. OMG what have I done? What was I thinking. I’m not a sadomasochist, I literally hate pain. FFS I actually paid to do this. How much misery, discomfort and suffering will I go through? I can’t do this. Who does this? This is not normal. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? Why am I not at home watching this on TV like normal people? Shit! Shit! Shit! I’m surrounded by complete strangers. I’m basically trapped in here. Should I go to the loo again? Oh crap I actually NEED to go to the loo again! HELP! OMG how much actual pain am I going to be in? How much can I tolerate? WHY DID I DECIDE TO DO THIS. All I’ll get is a medal, WTF am I even going to do with that, I’m not 7. The t-shirt this year isn’t even my colour (black!). Ok, calm down, you’ve got this, think of an escape plan. I know, I’LL JUST WALK IT. Ok yeah I’ll just walk the whole thing. Walking is easy right? That won’t hurt as much, I’ll still get the medal and T-shirt. OMG what if I poo myself???”
To hopefully save you from the same, here’s all the things I learned about London Marathon all those years ago and what I wish I’d known when I ran it.
1 You’ve Got Nothing To Prove At the Starting Line.
By the time you cross the start line, you’ll be feeling like a crazed jack in the box, and like a bat out of hell you’ll want to rocket past other runners, (quickly forgetting your plan to walk) so relieved to just be free. Remember to take it easy, ignore all the other runners, stick to your pace and don’t lose focus. Speeding up and banking time has never worked for anybody ever- you won’t be any different.
2 Respect the Miles.
26.2 miles is a very long way to run; it’s a long way to drive! Ok, so you’ve spent the last 4 months surrounded by like-minded social media runners where 20 mile runs on a Sunday morning is the norm. But keep yourself grounded, this is not a run that will be over before lunch, you will be running for a considerable length of time, ease into the race.
The marathon is a fickle creature, treat it with respect and it will protect you, carry you to the finish with a sense of accomplishment and strength that you never knew you had. If you disrespect the enormity of the task, it will chew you up and spit you out.
3 You WILL have an Emotional Breakdown (and that’s ok).
You’ll cry as you read who the runner in front of you is running in memory of, and at the simple acts of kindness from strangers as they shout your name, give you eye contact and say “you’ve got this” or touch your shoulder in solidarity and support. Be prepared to have a complete breakdown when reading a child’s handmade sign telling the world how proud they are of their mummy/daddy.
Also, it’s highly likely you will cry your way over the finish line. A half marathon is physically exhausting, but a marathon is an emotional tour de force. It’s all part of the uniqueness of the experience, feel your emotions. You’ve earned it.
4 You MIGHT Temporarily Hate Everyone.
So you’ll be bathed in the warm glow of the good side of humanity, but be prepared to think spiteful, despicable and horrible thoughts about complete strangers who have come out to watch you, sorry, support you. You might reach new lows of thinking unpleasant feelings as you lose all sense of your own humanity, telling supporters who offer you jelly babies to F*** off (hopefully only in your head). Forgive yourself- you’re not a horrible person, you’re running 26.2 miles while they sip an iced vanilla latte.
5 You’ll Want To Quit.
For 26 miles (did I mention to respect the miles?) of the 26.2 miles you’ll have a love/hate relationship with running, regardless of how much you love running. An internal battle will ensue with a voice whispering and then shouting “just quit” many, many times. Mute that voice. Remind yourself that how you feel at any one moment is not the final judge of what you are capable of.
6 You Are More Than Any Number.
Finally, please remember you are so much more than a number – from your numbered bib to your finish time, the essence of you is more than a statistic. You are a unique, valuable and amazing individual, who runs marathons (and has a medal in their downstairs loo).
My Practical Tips For Sunday. Be prepared for other runners who will:
· Have loud music playing from their phone for all to hear, the “tinny” beats might become annoying after a few miles.
· Have distracting conversations discussing anything ranging from sex positions, politics, transgender issues, neuro diversity, the latest app/hack/or race strategy - tune them out.
· Jeff the whole marathon, “jeffing” is a combination of run/walk intervals and anybody who is jeffing may suddenly stop, without warning or acknowledgment right in front of you.
· Spit and snot in front of you. Lovely.
· At water stops if you aren’t stopping move to the opposite side of the road. But be mindful as runners throw their half full water bottles into the recycling bin right across your path, so you may get covered in water.
· Runners will drop their gel packets onto the road, be careful not to slip on them.
· You could see runners who have finished the run supporting along the route, you’ll be able to spot them as they’ll be wearing their t-shirt and medal whilst looking as fresh as a daisy. Try hard not to hate them, even if you see them before you’re at the halfway point.
· Supporters will run across the marathon route right in front of you. Be prepared for double buggies, dogs on an extendable lead, children on tricycles having tantrums, Boris bikes, oh and finishers who will be wearing their t-shirt and medal (you can hate these ones!)
Good luck London runners! I’ll be there with, supporting on the embankment at mile 25 (with my iced vanilla latte).
Verity x